Dear Message Board Posters

[BANJAXED]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Dear Matt,

But you should see BJ's picture. And he gets laid all the time.

I suspect it's because you wear the Terrible Towel as a scarf.

Zona

Dear Zona,

as you know UD is a private Catholic school where the beer flows like the Ohio River

and everyone knows Catholic Girls are horny 24/7

beer + horny girls =

piiiiiiiiiimpin,

BJ

[Jwhodey]

Originally Posted by BANJAXED

Dear Matt,

time to lower your standards - lower then any man has lowered them before

and then you might have a .000001% shot.

but dont count on it,

BJ

Dear Matt,

How low can his his standards go. Remember he is a Stooler fan.

Sincerely,

JW

[Murdock2420]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Dear Murdock,
I too have wondered this many times. Hope I'm not intruding on secret man society. Do you think it's because of the ugly in Pittsburgh?

Yours truly,

Meg

Dear Meg,

This is a part of secret man society I didn't want to intrude on myself. Perhaps we should leave this thead and go somewhere else. My room is just down the hall, however my TV doesn't work correctly....

Sincerely,

Murdock the nonTV Repair guy

Originally Posted by The Bat

Dear Steeler Fans,



Regards,
BAT

Brutal honesty at it's finest

[Megalicious23]

Dear Meg,

Apparently you are alone in this sea of testosterone. Where o' where is Trina? Hopefully she comes in here soon.

Onward and Upward,
Meg


p.s. boys are stinky.

[Murdock2420]

Originally Posted by CigarMatt

Dear Zona,

Have you seen my picture? lol

Sincerely,

Matt

Dear Matt,

Seen it??? He's Fapping to it now it hopes of a reach around.

Sincerely,
Murdock the man afraid of sasuage fest.

[Steely_J]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Dear Meg,

Apparently you are alone in this sea of testosterone. Where o' where is Trina? Hopefully she comes in here soon.

Onward and Upward,
Meg


p.s. boys are stinky.

Dear Meg,

When is release date of that film you just got done shooting.. "Alone in this sea of testosterone 5: Sweaty Revenge." hitting the shelves?

Snuggles,

Your adoring fans.

[Jwhodey]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Dear Meg,

Apparently you are alone in this sea of testosterone. Where o' where is Trina? Hopefully she comes in here soon.

Onward and Upward,
Meg


p.s. boys are stinky.

Dear Meg,

Please dont go dont be scared of those stinky boys they cant help being Steeler fans.

Ummm Trinna might be a little late getting to the boards.

but i think she just left she was fixing my umm... TV ya my TV

Yours Truly,
JW

[Murdock2420]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Dear Meg,

Apparently you are alone in this sea of testosterone. Where o' where is Trina? Hopefully she comes in here soon.

Onward and Upward,
Meg


p.s. boys are stinky.

Dear Meg,

I no stinky


Sincerely,
Murdock and the puppy dog eyes

[Murdock2420]

Originally Posted by Steely_J

Dear Meg,

When is release date of that film you just got done shooting.. "Alone in this sea of testosterone 5: Sweaty Revenge." hitting the shelves?

Snuggles,

Your adoring fans.

Dear Steely,

Your credit card has been declined, going to need cash up front this time.

Sincerely,
Meg's production team

[Megalicious23]

Originally Posted by Murdock2420

Dear Meg,

I no stinky


Sincerely,
Murdock and the puppy dog eyes

Dear Sir,
I had something to retort with, but that dog is so freaking cute I forgot. Something about a tv and a room and repair man?

Later,
Meg

Originally Posted by Steely_J

Dear Meg,

When is release date of that film you just got done shooting.. "Alone in this sea of testosterone 5: Sweaty Revenge." hitting the shelves?

Snuggles,

Your adoring fans.

Dear adoring fan,
I'm flattered you're waiting for my tape, you'll be happy to know we got your man Polamalu to be the star. I know, thank me later, but anything for our biggest buyer.
Salutations,
Meg
Producer

Originally Posted by Jwhodey

Dear Meg,

Please dont go dont be scared of those stinky boys they cant help being Steeler fans.

Ummm Trinna might be a little late getting to the boards.

but i think she just left she was fixing my umm... TV ya my TV

Yours Truly,
JW

JDub-
You're right, I forgot about those pesky Steelers fans pretending to be normal. When you see Trina give her the message that I'm looking for her.. I hope your tv is ready for Sunday.

After while crocodile,

Meg

[Steely_J]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Dear Sir,
I had something to retort with, but that dog is so freaking cute I forgot. Something about a tv and a room and repair man?

Later,
Meg

Dear Meg,

Those allegations are reckless and false.

Signed,

Harrahs Mgmt.

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Murdock2420

Dear Matt,

Seen it??? He's Fapping to it now it hopes of a reach around.

Sincerely,
Murdock the man afraid of sasuage fest.

Dear Murdock,

Play nice or Trina will tie you back up in her basement and make you watch the Steelers play this weekend.

Zona

P.S. - And get the heck off my leg! Bad dog!! BAD DOG!!!!

[Steely_J]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Dear Murdock,

Play nice or Trina will tie you back up in her basement and make you watch the Steelers play this weekend.

Zona

P.S. - And get the heck off my leg! Bad dog!! BAD DOG!!!!

Dear Zona,

We're all gonna be watching the Steelers this weekend.

Sincerely,
SJ

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Steely_J

Dear Zona,

We're all gonna be watching the Steelers this weekend.

Sincerely,
SJ

Dear Steely,

I know that. And you know that. But Murdoch... he'll just feel he's getting punished for all the rotten trouble he's gotten into this week while Trina was out.

Zona



C'mon Murdoch! It's time for your walk now.

[CigarMatt]

Dear all,

This thread has taken some interesting turns while I was in class.

The only specific thing I have to say is BJ, you are ****ing clown shoes...that is all.

Sincerely,

Matt, and his new sig.

[Klytus]

Originally Posted by philhos

What the eff is up with all the posts addressed like letters?

That is all.


With love,
PhilHos

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo




True story.

Letter? What letter? We don't need no stinkin' letters?!

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Dear Meg,

Apparently you are alone in this sea of testosterone. Where o' where is Trina? Hopefully she comes in here soon.

Onward and Upward,
Meg

p.s. boys are stinky.

Dear Meg,

We are glad to have your female perspective on our discussions. Please join us again tomorrow, we have quite a day planned!. Our schedule will include:

8:00 to 9:00 "Why Steeler fans are so gay." - Professor Jwhodey

9:00 to 10:00 "Who Has the Biggest Manhood Talk Contest" - Professor Bengalzona

10:00 to 11:00 "Rep Whining and Reach Around Rep" - Professor Philhos

11:00 to 12:00 "Why Women Prefer U. of Dayton Grads" - Professor Banjaxed

12:00 to 1:00 Lunch and Pect Blasting

1:00 to 2:00 "The Multiple Uses of the Gluteus Maximus" - Professor Murdoch

2:00 to 3:00 "Room Clearers and SBDs: The 5th Annual MB Farting Contest" - Professor CigarMatt

3:00 to 4:00 "Proper Form of the MB Letter" - Professor Philhos

4:00 to 5:00 "Why Steeler Fans are Ugly" - Professor dpatgoeswhodey


Sincerely,

Zona

[CigarMatt]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Dear Meg,

We are glad to have your female perspective on our discussions. Please join us again tomorrow, we have quite a day planned!. Our schedule will include:

8:00 to 9:00 "Why Steeler fans are so gay." - Professor Jwhodey

9:00 to 10:00 "Who Has the Biggest Manhood Talk Contest" - Professor Bengalzona

10:00 to 11:00 "Rep Whining and Reach Around Rep" - Professor Philhos

11:00 to 12:00 "Why Women Prefer U. of Dayton Grads" - Professor Banjaxed

12:00 to 1:00 Lunch and Pect Blasting

1:00 to 2:00 "The Multiple Uses of the Gluteus Maximus" - Professor Murdoch

2:00 to 3:00 "Room Clearers and SBDs: The 5th Annual MB Farting Contest" - Professor CigarMatt

3:00 to 4:00 "Proper Form of the MB Letter" - Professor Philhos

4:00 to 5:00 "Why Steeler Fans are Ugly" - Professor dpatgoeswhodey


Sincerely,

Zona

Dear posters,

I shall be setting out a sign up sheet overnight and all day tomorrow for the 5th Annual MB Farting Contest. If you plan to compete, please remember to choose your diet tomorrow accordingly.

The categories shall be on sound (longest, funniest, most unique) and in smell.

See you after lunch,

Matt

[VCU Rams]

To whom it may concern,

I have noticed someone running naked through my neighborhood..I honesty can't tell if it is a man or a woman, however the letters BJ are written in black sharpie on this beings chest. I have tried to contact the authorities, but all they do is laugh about the sheer ugliness of this "it." Please sign this petition to ban this BJ from running naked through my neighborhood.

Regrettably yours,

Concerned member

[wildcats forever]

Originally Posted by CigarMatt

Dear posters,

I shall be setting out a sign up sheet overnight and all day tomorrow for the 5th Annual MB Farting Contest. If you plan to compete, please remember to choose your diet tomorrow accordingly.

The categories shall be on sound (longest, funniest, most unique) and in smell.

See you after lunch,

Matt

Dear MB Farting Contest Participants,



Sincerely,

Wildcats Forever

[CigarMatt]

Originally Posted by wildcats forever

Dear MB Farting Contest Participants,



Sincerely,

Wildcats Forever

Dear Wildcats Forever,

I know the majority of us will be wearing pants. Quite possible that those who like to light their farts on fire may be bare ***, but it's hard to tell at this point.

Sincerely,

Matt

[Joe from Florence]

Originally Posted by Klytus

Letter? What letter? We don't need no stinkin' letters?!

Dear Klytus,

Thanks for the buzz kill.

Signed,
Mr Original

[CigarMatt]

Originally Posted by VCU Rams

To whom it may concern,

I have noticed someone running naked through my neighborhood..I honesty can't tell if it is a man or a woman, however the letters BJ are written in black sharpie on this beings chest. I have tried to contact the authorities, but all they do is laugh about the sheer ugliness of this "it." Please sign this petition to ban this BJ from running naked through my neighborhood.

Regrettably yours,

Concerned member

Dear Concerned Member,

I am here to inform you that the suspect who has been running naked through your neighborhood is believed to be a drunk Irishman. Please do not attempt to approach the subject as they can be agitated easily. We have advised the women and children to not be out in the evening so as not to be traumatized by the site of such a beast. We are working to control the situation though, as we all know, there will be more coming if it is not taken care of in haste. The best thing to do is stay inside and ignore him, and do not laugh at the size of the Irishman's "unit." They can be sensitive about that sort of thing.

Sincerely,

Your neighborhood police officer

[BANJAXED]

Originally Posted by CigarMatt

Dear all,

This thread has taken some interesting turns while I was in class.

The only specific thing I have to say is BJ, you are ****ing clown shoes...that is all.

Sincerely,

Matt, and his new sig.

Originally Posted by VCU Rams

To whom it may concern,

I have noticed someone running naked through my neighborhood..I honesty can't tell if it is a man or a woman, however the letters BJ are written in black sharpie on this beings chest. I have tried to contact the authorities, but all they do is laugh about the sheer ugliness of this "it." Please sign this petition to ban this BJ from running naked through my neighborhood.

Regrettably yours,

Concerned member

Originally Posted by CigarMatt

Dear Concerned Member,

I am here to inform you that the suspect who has been running naked through your neighborhood is believed to be a drunk Irishman. Please do not attempt to approach the subject as they can be agitated easily. We have advised the women and children to not be out in the evening so as not to be traumatized by the site of such a beast. We are working to control the situation though, as we all know, there will be more coming if it is not taken care of in haste. The best thing to do is stay inside and ignore him, and do not laugh at the size of the Irishman's "unit." They can be sensitive about that sort of thing.

Sincerely,

Your neighborhood police officer

Dear BJ Haters,

I noticed the both of you out while I was on my run. I can see why you're both worked up seeing I sac slapped you across the face as I passed by. I apologize for doing so as my bean bag has a mind of its own when its swaying to-and-fro. However, seeing you both were out are the exact same time for several evenings - it seems really you actually enjoyed the nut butter stache I provided. So as an FYI - seeing that the demand is high and supply is unlimited I will be charging for my sac slaps.

Cash only please,

BJ

[wildcats forever]

Originally Posted by CigarMatt

Dear Wildcats Forever,

I know the majority of us will be wearing pants. Quite possible that those who like to light their farts on fire may be bare ***, but it's hard to tell at this point.

Sincerely,

Matt

Dear Matt,

I would like to submit my new hit song "Bare Bottom Blues" as the new theme song for this year's butt-burn bash, replacing last year's squeaker "I Ain't Got No Body". I assume Hot Buns is still the entertainment coordinator; if not please advise.

Barely holding it,
Wildcats Forever