My Daughter's First Period

[auggie]

Guns don't kill people; father's with pretty daughters kill people.

[BengalYankee]

Originally Posted by philhos

Well, for this lovely Easter weekend, I've had the pleasure of hosting my 3 beautiful girls at my house all by my lonesome. Today as we were Skyping with my parents, my oldest (who is 11) went to use the bathroom.

After about a minute, she starts freaking out and yells for me to come in there. Thinking there must be some huge bug in there (hey, I am a single man living on my own), I slowly rush (yes, I mean that exactly as it sounds) to the bathroom to discover to my horror that my eldest daughter has finally had her first period. Unfortunately, being the only adult in the house, I did not have the pleasure of freaking out as well.

I tried calming her while also trying to figure out what the heck am I supposed to do? I mean, it's not like I ever had to go through with blood coming out of my pee-pee and my parents telling me it's only natural (and I'm sure she'll be glad in the future that I never told her it was also beautiful. I mean, who tells someone that blood gushing from your pee-hole is beautiful? Seriously!)

Anyway, a quick call to my ex and my daughter started to calm down but now I have to travel to the store to pick up some "pads". Now, unlike most men, I never had a problem going to the store to pick up pads or tampons for my women (I ain't a wuss) as long as they realized that I don't know what I'm getting and if I get the wrong thing it's their fault for not getting it themselves. Anyways, the difference here is they would tell me what to get. Well, my daughter knows even less about pads than I do. To top it off, Walmart was the only store open today. And Walmart does not sell pads for kids getting their period for the first time. I asked the lady in that section for help and went with her suggestion which seems to be working so far.

I take my girls back to my ex-wife tomorrow (later today apparently), so she'll get to show my daughter all the joys of growing older as a female.

Talking to my 7-year-old about what was happening, prompted her to declare that she wished she were born a boy.

What an unforgettable Easter this has been.

[Bengalzona]

This thread reminds me of this:

[fredtoast]

Originally Posted by philhos

Done.

She did ask what a Message Board was, though. By the time I was done explaining it to her, she asked, "What were we talking about?" To which I replied, of course, "Sex."

She already knows what a message board is. That is where she posted the story about her dad getting a woody while watching Mulan.

[philhos]

Originally Posted by BengalYankee

Dude! That has to be the funniest GIF I've seen in a long time.

I'm still laughing!!!