How to deal with depression

[Megalicious23]

First, do not put her on pills. She's young and dependency is a serious problem. If she gets on them, it will take her too long to get off and that's hiding the pain, not fixing it. Plus, something triggered this depression, not just a chemical imbalance.

The biggest piece of misadvice people give is to let people come around on their own time. Do not do that. Yes, let her grieve, but it's been 2 years. It's time for her to move on and get going. Don't guilt her into it though, by saying things like, "what would your mom think of this?", etc.

Her laziness it most likely a defensive mechanism.

she needs to realize that two years have gone by and she needs to live. Frankly, live because she can.

Honestly, I'd have to know more about her to really give some advice/help. You can trust me on this, I'm going to be a doctor soon

Feel free to Pm me, I'll see what I can do to help.

[hollodero]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

The biggest piece of misadvice people give is to let people come around on their own time. Do not do that. Yes, let her grieve, but it's been 2 years. It's time for her to move on and get going. Don't guilt her into it though, by saying things like, "what would your mom think of this?", etc.

And what would be your advice on how "not to do that"? Guilting her would be wrong, as you (correctly) said. But how you do it, what is it you actually could do or say (except for the things already mentioned here)? Theoretically speaking?

Forcing the subject again and again, always presenting a mirror to a depressed person often just leads to withdrawal. And to an additional loss of self-confidence, or an additional gain of feeling inferior and despair.

[BengalRugby]

Alcohol and promiscuity.

[jmccracky]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

First, do not put her on pills. She's young and dependency is a serious problem. If she gets on them, it will take her too long to get off and that's hiding the pain, not fixing it. Plus, something triggered this depression, not just a chemical imbalance.

The biggest piece of misadvice people give is to let people come around on their own time. Do not do that. Yes, let her grieve, but it's been 2 years. It's time for her to move on and get going. Don't guilt her into it though, by saying things like, "what would your mom think of this?", etc.

Her laziness it most likely a defensive mechanism.

she needs to realize that two years have gone by and she needs to live. Frankly, live because she can.

Honestly, I'd have to know more about her to really give some advice/help. You can trust me on this, I'm going to be a doctor soon

Feel free to Pm me, I'll see what I can do to help.

This is great advice Meg.

BTW, if you need any practice before you become a doctor, I'm sure that me and all the other men of the board (and some ladies too) would be more than willing to let you practice on us.

I think I have a hernia.


My fiance just slapped me upside the head.

[Sabretooth]

Check with her high school teachers, although you say she has no friends now, perhaps there was someone in the recent past that was her buddy. If this person could re- enter her life ,maybe that would start things in a different direction. ( with your subtle coaching of the old friend ) You have the great advantage of life experience over a 19 year old,
(If that former friend could go on walks, bike rides,bowling or other activities that would address the weight problem in time.
Not overtly saying - "let's walk to get your fat#$$ off that couch", but maybe "come with me I need to do x ,y ,z , or whatever ".

Competitive juices may begin to flow once she sees how her peers have advanced in their adult lives ( apartment, car,job, college, mate, etc. )
She won't "come around " on your timetable , but I know you will stick it out.
Good luck.

[Slappy from New Haven]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

First, do not put her on pills. She's young and dependency is a serious problem. If she gets on them, it will take her too long to get off and that's hiding the pain, not fixing it. Plus, something triggered this depression, not just a chemical imbalance.

The biggest piece of misadvice people give is to let people come around on their own time. Do not do that. Yes, let her grieve, but it's been 2 years. It's time for her to move on and get going. Don't guilt her into it though, by saying things like, "what would your mom think of this?", etc.

Her laziness it most likely a defensive mechanism.

she needs to realize that two years have gone by and she needs to live. Frankly, live because she can.

Honestly, I'd have to know more about her to really give some advice/help. You can trust me on this, I'm going to be a doctor soon

Feel free to Pm me, I'll see what I can do to help.

Are you really going to be a doctor

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

First, do not put her on pills. She's young and dependency is a serious problem. If she gets on them, it will take her too long to get off and that's hiding the pain, not fixing it. Plus, something triggered this depression, not just a chemical imbalance.

The biggest piece of misadvice people give is to let people come around on their own time. Do not do that. Yes, let her grieve, but it's been 2 years. It's time for her to move on and get going. Don't guilt her into it though, by saying things like, "what would your mom think of this?", etc.

Her laziness it most likely a defensive mechanism.

she needs to realize that two years have gone by and she needs to live. Frankly, live because she can.

Honestly, I'd have to know more about her to really give some advice/help. You can trust me on this, I'm going to be a doctor soon

Feel free to Pm me, I'll see what I can do to help.

Yur sig...

"Rest in peace Tiger Blood"?

Didn't you hear?

[Beaker]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

You can trust me on this, I'm going to be a doctor soon

I'll just take off my clothes, lie on the table and do what the doctor tells me.

[bengalfan74]

10 - 15 two liter bottles filled with water, a dozen eggs, and a watermelon.





























And four or five full 30 rd. mags for my AR - 15

[wolfkaosaun]

Originally Posted by NC Bengal Mike

Was it diagnosed as depression or just intense grieving?

Mine was actually diagnosed

[Slappy from New Haven]

Originally Posted by wolfkaosaun

Mine was actually diagnosed

Glad you took that step.

[Megalicious23]

Originally Posted by hollodero

And what would be your advice on how "not to do that"? Guilting her would be wrong, as you (correctly) said. But how you do it, what is it you actually could do or say (except for the things already mentioned here)? Theoretically speaking?

Forcing the subject again and again, always presenting a mirror to a depressed person often just leads to withdrawal. And to an additional loss of self-confidence, or an additional gain of feeling inferior and despair.

Theoretically as in what theory would I apply? Most likely cbt - make her aware of what she's doing (as if she doesn't already know), find out why (her defensive mechanism), talk to her about other options, and then make her do them. If you have to take her by the hand, do it.

Originally Posted by NC Bengal Mike

Are you really going to be a doctor

Really really.

not an MD doctor though.

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Yur sig...

"Rest in peace Tiger Blood"?

Didn't you hear?

no.. i've been under a rock most of the summer.. pray tell.

[hollodero]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Theoretically as in what theory would I apply? Most likely cbt - make her aware of what she's doing (as if she doesn't already know), find out why (her defensive mechanism), talk to her about other options, and then make her do them. If you have to take her by the hand, do it.

Yeah - ok, first of all, I agree. But that already seems like a rather therapeutical approach. First, you would have to get her wanting any help at all, though, and that seems to be the main problem here. Then you can go with a therapy like that - when she seeks help and you can actually get access to her. No on can right now, as far as I get it.
So, how do you get an access in the first place, that would be my question.

[Who2Dey]

Originally Posted by WeezyBengal

All,

A families mother passed away about two years ago. Ever since, a family member has been severely depressed. They wont admit it. She has failed out of school, doesnt have a job, and lives off of the fathers money. She is about 19.

The father makes a lot of excuses for her and continually pays tuition even tho her grades are not up to par. He knows there is a problem but is lost in what to do. He asks her to get help but she refuses. She doesn't have hardly any friends and no where to go. She is very insecure and self conscience.

How do you fix this situation? I keep urging the father to make the child get help but I feel like he just makes excuses for her. Plus, how do you make someone get help that doesnt want to?

Has anyone dealt with anything like this in the past?

Having zero feel for the situation, i'd say make her feel like she is needed first. Once she feels like she isn't alone, has someone to talk to, and realizes you are all in this tough situation together, the rest will fall into place.

She's an adult...have an adult conversation with her about the passing....then another one....then another one. Don't let her isolate herself. It sounds as if she needs an outlet(close family memeber) to dump these emotions on. Keeping them bottled in will only make it worse. If nobody is discussing the issue with her then she prbly feels as if everyone is pointing and judging her depression like tendencies on top of dealing with the actual depression.

Depending on the severity, you may want to consider letting her take a semester off school to get a hold of the issue. I imagine it adds pressure to the problem while also wasting money and hurting her school record.

[Who2Dey]

...or pm meg, because I'm probably not qualified for such advice.

[HarleyDog]

I lost my son 4yrs ago. It changes a person forever. Probably best to let her go for awhile. Any attempt will be taken as intrusive, invading, and possibly create harmful reactions. Unless she physically starts to hurt herself? I would still hang back. I think her father knows this, which is why he does what he does. Sounds like a good Dad. She just needs people to understand. With that said, I'm not saying people be lenient, like giving passing grades, etc. Just try to understand.

[Slappy from New Haven]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Theoretically as in what theory would I apply? Most likely cbt - make her aware of what she's doing (as if she doesn't already know), find out why (her defensive mechanism), talk to her about other options, and then make her do them. If you have to take her by the hand, do it.


Really really.

not an MD doctor though.



no.. i've been under a rock most of the summer.. pray tell.

What, what kind of doctor? A bone cracker?

Dam spit it out

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

not an MD doctor though.

Does that mean you won't do my prostrate exams?

no.. i've been under a rock most of the summer.. pray tell.

Tiger Blood was found to be a big fake. Apparently, some dude was getting his jollies creating all of these alters and this storyline so that he could "write a book" about our reactions.

I'd dig up the thread, but it's 2AM and I'm pretty dam lazy.

[wolfkaosaun]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Tiger Blood was found to be a big fake. Apparently, some dude was getting his jollies creating all of these alters and this storyline so that he could "write a book" about our reactions.

I'd dig up the thread, but it's 2AM and I'm pretty dam lazy.

That, and he is actually still on these boards. He has some backups and such.

[Sher Khan]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

not an MD doctor though.



no.. i've been under a rock most of the summer.. pray tell.

So like you're going to have an Phd in Geology? A Rock Doctor.

[Megalicious23]

Originally Posted by NC Bengal Mike

What, what kind of doctor? A bone cracker?

Dam spit it out

Not that kind either!

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Does that mean you won't do my prostrate exams?



Tiger Blood was found to be a big fake. Apparently, some dude was getting his jollies creating all of these alters and this storyline so that he could "write a book" about our reactions.

I'd dig up the thread, but it's 2AM and I'm pretty dam lazy.

oh, i'll still do them. I took physiology classes :)

and shut the front door. i'll search the thread. that makes me 50 shades of angry

Originally Posted by Sher Khan

So like you're going to have an Phd in Geology? A Rock Doctor.

Not a rock doctor.

[hollodero]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

and shut the front door. i'll search the thread. that makes me 50 shades of angry

There are still gentlemen out there.

Here you go...

[XenoMorph]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

Not a rock doctor.

but my pet rock is sick and i dont know whats wrong.

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Megalicious23

oh, i'll still do them. I took physiology classes :)

Whew!.... That's good!

Everybody knows that people with an -ology in their degree give the best prostrate jobs.....er....exams!

[RumbleCat]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Does that mean you won't do my prostrate exams?

With all due respect there 'Zona. What the hell is a prostrate? Is that like the Japanese version of a prostate?