Cincinnati Bengals

Go Back   Cincinnati Bengals Message Boards - Forums > Off-Topic Forum > Klotsch

Klotsch Exchange recipes, talk about movies, comment on Jessica Simpson or anything you want. Just do it here instead of ruining someone else's football-related topic.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-16-2012, 11:38 PM
Bengalzona's Avatar
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
MB HOF Inductee
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Petting L'il Sebastian
Posts: 25,059
Rep Points: 79453
Default Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Eight hour deposition today. Worse than waterboarding. Who devised this new form of torture?

Please insert any lawyer jokes that you know to aid in my recovery.
__________________

Ghosts are the British way of "blaming the dog".
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-16-2012, 11:42 PM
BengalYankee's Avatar
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 11,683
Rep Points: 19557
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bengalzona View Post
Eight hour deposition today. Worse than waterboarding. Who devised this new form of torture?

Please insert any lawyer jokes that you know to aid in my recovery.

This thread makes me mad
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-17-2012, 12:15 AM
Bengalzona's Avatar
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
MB HOF Inductee
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Petting L'il Sebastian
Posts: 25,059
Rep Points: 79453
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BengalYankee View Post
This thread makes me mad


So, do lawyers like enjoy long depositions? Asking the same inane questions over and over again?
__________________

Ghosts are the British way of "blaming the dog".

Last edited by Bengalzona; 11-17-2012 at 12:20 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-17-2012, 01:27 AM
Nebuchadnezzar Nebuchadnezzar is offline
VIP Silver Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,638
Rep Points: 8946
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Fred
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-17-2012, 07:54 AM
Shake n Blake's Avatar
Shake n Blake Shake n Blake is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Homers gonna home
Posts: 14,728
Rep Points: 33539
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar View Post
Fred
Ha! That's the funniest lawyer joke I've heard in awhile.
__________________

Sig by CinWillWin
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-17-2012, 08:17 AM
hollodero hollodero is offline
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Vienna, Austria
Posts: 1,142
Rep Points: 3013
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

What do you call three lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.
__________________
- You just read a quality post from hollodero. (Approved by the Austrian ministry of foreign affairs.)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-17-2012, 08:34 AM
wildcats forever's Avatar
wildcats forever wildcats forever is online now
VIP Gold Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,434
Rep Points: 56321
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach?
Cats keep covering them over with sand.
__________________
" Insignificant events can take on monumental proportions when your head is full of practically nothing." - Grace Slick
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-17-2012, 10:39 AM
Wyche'sWarrior's Avatar
Wyche'sWarrior Wyche'sWarrior is offline
VIP Gold Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Bluegrass Region
Posts: 9,734
Rep Points: 21118
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bengalzona View Post


So, do lawyers like enjoy long depositions? Asking the same inane questions over and over again?
yeah, but they hate it when you're smarter than they are and don't fall into their trap.......and they really hate it when it's the truth and doesn't support their agenda. Been there, done that, ate them for lunch.......even told one that "the answer is the same as it was the first three times you asked me....same as it is on the police report....now can we please move along, I have a shift to cover tonight." (car wreck suit)
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-17-2012, 04:35 PM
BengalYankee's Avatar
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 11,683
Rep Points: 19557
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-17-2012, 04:36 PM
BengalYankee's Avatar
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 11,683
Rep Points: 19557
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildcats forever View Post
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach?
Cats keep covering them over with sand.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 11-17-2012, 04:38 PM
BengalYankee's Avatar
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 11,683
Rep Points: 19557
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hollodero View Post
What do you call three lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-17-2012, 04:40 PM
BengalYankee's Avatar
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 11,683
Rep Points: 19557
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bengalzona View Post


So, do lawyers like enjoy long depositions? Asking the same inane questions over and over again?

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-17-2012, 04:59 PM
SunsetBengal's Avatar
SunsetBengal SunsetBengal is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Sunset Beach, NC
Posts: 16,009
Rep Points: 48605
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-17-2012, 05:13 PM
BumpyTrumpy BumpyTrumpy is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 462
Rep Points: 235
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

What do you call a kid pretending to be a lawyer on an Internet forum?


Fred Toast.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 11-17-2012, 05:59 PM
bradfritz21's Avatar
bradfritz21 bradfritz21 is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 11,112
Rep Points: 19459
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Yeah, had one where the lawyer was accusing me of not being as brain damaged as I was making myself look.

If anybody could pull that off, they'd be an Oscar Award winning actor for best actor of ALL-TIME!
__________________
.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11-17-2012, 06:21 PM
Bengalzona's Avatar
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
MB HOF Inductee
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Petting L'il Sebastian
Posts: 25,059
Rep Points: 79453
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wyche'sWarrior View Post
yeah, but they hate it when you're smarter than they are and don't fall into their trap.......and they really hate it when it's the truth and doesn't support their agenda. Been there, done that, ate them for lunch.......even told one that "the answer is the same as it was the first three times you asked me....same as it is on the police report....now can we please move along, I have a shift to cover tonight." (car wreck suit)
I suppose I should take it as a good sign that it went for so long. Apparently the attorney wasn't getting the answers he wanted to make his case.
__________________

Ghosts are the British way of "blaming the dog".
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 11-17-2012, 06:29 PM
BengaliJack's Avatar
BengaliJack BengaliJack is offline
VIP Silver Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,300
Rep Points: 7574
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Blood sucking parasites. Ever look at the phonebook? 35% of the ads are lawyers. These guys make there most of their dough off of your pain....YOUR PAIN!! They try and act considerate..like they actually CARE.....but bring forth a case on someone withOUT deep pockets and you can cancel christmas....they will toss you out like garbage. Yada yada...thats how they get paid....whatever. Sue happy Americans and bloodsucking lawyers.....a winning combination. Lets put a cap on lawsuits already.
__________________



Throw his way and get the FULL NELSON!!!

NOW THATS INTENSITY!!

Even Gronk don't want none of that!!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 11-18-2012, 11:35 AM
BengalYankee's Avatar
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 11,683
Rep Points: 19557
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BengaliJack View Post
Blood sucking parasites. Ever look at the phonebook? 35% of the ads are lawyers. These guys make there most of their dough off of your pain....YOUR PAIN!! They try and act considerate..like they actually CARE.....but bring forth a case on someone withOUT deep pockets and you can cancel christmas....they will toss you out like garbage. Yada yada...thats how they get paid....whatever. Sue happy Americans and bloodsucking lawyers.....a winning combination. Lets put a cap on lawsuits already.


__________________
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 11-18-2012, 11:39 PM
Fan_in_Kettering's Avatar
Fan_in_Kettering Fan_in_Kettering is offline
VIP Gold Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Kettering, Ohio
Posts: 8,510
Rep Points: 29324
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Why do lawyers wear neckties? To hold the foreskin back..............
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 11-19-2012, 10:32 AM
Lolli's Avatar
Lolli Lolli is offline
VIP Gold Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CTC
Posts: 9,751
Rep Points: 13796
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bradfritz21 View Post
Yeah, had one where the lawyer was accusing me of not being as brain damaged as I was making myself look.

If anybody could pull that off, they'd be an Oscar Award winning actor for best actor of ALL-TIME!
That is interesting, because there is a quantifiable measurement of brain activity.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 11-19-2012, 04:54 PM
fredtoast's Avatar
fredtoast fredtoast is offline
MB HOF Inductee
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Scenic East Tennessee
Posts: 48,895
Rep Points: 53968
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BengaliJack View Post
Blood sucking parasites. Ever look at the phonebook? 35% of the ads are lawyers. These guys make there most of their dough off of your pain....YOUR PAIN!! They try and act considerate..like they actually CARE.....but bring forth a case on someone withOUT deep pockets and you can cancel christmas....they will toss you out like garbage. Yada yada...thats how they get paid....whatever. Sue happy Americans and bloodsucking lawyers.....a winning combination. Lets put a cap on lawsuits already.
Without lawyers forcing them to pay for their negligence and imoral practices big businesses would be cheating, poisoning, killing and maiming citizens at an alarming rate.

Putting caps on lawsuits just allows big businesses to cheat, poison, kill, and main a larger number of people before it becomes cost prohibitive.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:13 PM
Bryan's Avatar
Bryan Bryan is offline
VIP Gold Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 7,300
Rep Points: 7906
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/memes...awyer-dog-meme
__________________

Best Run I've Ever Seen

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil for thou art with me thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."- Mahatma Gandhi
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:56 PM
bradfritz21's Avatar
bradfritz21 bradfritz21 is offline
VIP Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 11,112
Rep Points: 19459
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lolli View Post
That is interesting, because there is a quantifiable measurement of brain activity.
I agree, but I'm also missing big parts of my brain (per a brain scan), it's obvious that I can't walk much or talk much, and I still have other problems (memory, decision making, etc.).

Parts of my brain work, but not all parts.
__________________
.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 11-19-2012, 06:07 PM
Danno's Avatar
Danno Danno is offline
MB HOF Inductee
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA
Posts: 11,672
Rep Points: 45006
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bengalzona View Post
Eight hour deposition today. Worse than waterboarding. Who devised this new form of torture?

Please insert any lawyer jokes that you know to aid in my recovery.
um... why?

Did you or someone you know do something bad?
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 11-19-2012, 07:03 PM
Bengalzona's Avatar
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
MB HOF Inductee
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Petting L'il Sebastian
Posts: 25,059
Rep Points: 79453
Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Danno View Post
um... why?

Did you or someone you know do something bad?
Expert witness
__________________

Ghosts are the British way of "blaming the dog".
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:09 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 1999-2012 Cincinnati Bengals. All rights reserved. Do not duplicate in any form without permission of the Cincinnati Bengals.