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Klotsch Exchange recipes, talk about movies, comment on Jessica Simpson or anything you want. Just do it here instead of ruining someone else's football-related topic.

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  #1  
Old 11-16-2012, 10:38 PM
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
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Default Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Eight hour deposition today. Worse than waterboarding. Who devised this new form of torture?

Please insert any lawyer jokes that you know to aid in my recovery.
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  #2  
Old 11-16-2012, 10:42 PM
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Eight hour deposition today. Worse than waterboarding. Who devised this new form of torture?

Please insert any lawyer jokes that you know to aid in my recovery.

This thread makes me mad
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  #3  
Old 11-16-2012, 11:15 PM
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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This thread makes me mad


So, do lawyers like enjoy long depositions? Asking the same inane questions over and over again?
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Last edited by Bengalzona; 11-16-2012 at 11:20 PM.
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  #4  
Old 11-17-2012, 12:27 AM
Nebuchadnezzar Nebuchadnezzar is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Fred
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  #5  
Old 11-17-2012, 06:54 AM
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Fred
Ha! That's the funniest lawyer joke I've heard in awhile.
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  #6  
Old 11-17-2012, 07:17 AM
hollodero hollodero is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

What do you call three lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.
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  #7  
Old 11-17-2012, 07:34 AM
wildcats forever wildcats forever is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach?
Cats keep covering them over with sand.
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  #8  
Old 11-17-2012, 09:39 AM
Wyche'sWarrior Wyche'sWarrior is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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So, do lawyers like enjoy long depositions? Asking the same inane questions over and over again?
yeah, but they hate it when you're smarter than they are and don't fall into their trap.......and they really hate it when it's the truth and doesn't support their agenda. Been there, done that, ate them for lunch.......even told one that "the answer is the same as it was the first three times you asked me....same as it is on the police report....now can we please move along, I have a shift to cover tonight." (car wreck suit)
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Old 11-17-2012, 03:35 PM
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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  #10  
Old 11-17-2012, 03:36 PM
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Originally Posted by wildcats forever View Post
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

How come you can't find lawyers sunbathing on the beach?
Cats keep covering them over with sand.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md...3lg2o1_500.gif
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  #11  
Old 11-17-2012, 03:38 PM
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Originally Posted by hollodero View Post
What do you call three lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

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  #12  
Old 11-17-2012, 03:40 PM
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Originally Posted by Bengalzona View Post


So, do lawyers like enjoy long depositions? Asking the same inane questions over and over again?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9...2j9ho1_500.gif
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  #13  
Old 11-17-2012, 03:59 PM
SunsetBengal SunsetBengal is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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  #14  
Old 11-17-2012, 04:13 PM
BumpyTrumpy BumpyTrumpy is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

What do you call a kid pretending to be a lawyer on an Internet forum?


Fred Toast.
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  #15  
Old 11-17-2012, 04:59 PM
bradfritz21 bradfritz21 is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Yeah, had one where the lawyer was accusing me of not being as brain damaged as I was making myself look.

If anybody could pull that off, they'd be an Oscar Award winning actor for best actor of ALL-TIME!
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  #16  
Old 11-17-2012, 05:21 PM
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wyche'sWarrior View Post
yeah, but they hate it when you're smarter than they are and don't fall into their trap.......and they really hate it when it's the truth and doesn't support their agenda. Been there, done that, ate them for lunch.......even told one that "the answer is the same as it was the first three times you asked me....same as it is on the police report....now can we please move along, I have a shift to cover tonight." (car wreck suit)
I suppose I should take it as a good sign that it went for so long. Apparently the attorney wasn't getting the answers he wanted to make his case.
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Old 11-17-2012, 05:29 PM
BengaliJack BengaliJack is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Blood sucking parasites. Ever look at the phonebook? 35% of the ads are lawyers. These guys make there most of their dough off of your pain....YOUR PAIN!! They try and act considerate..like they actually CARE.....but bring forth a case on someone withOUT deep pockets and you can cancel christmas....they will toss you out like garbage. Yada yada...thats how they get paid....whatever. Sue happy Americans and bloodsucking lawyers.....a winning combination. Lets put a cap on lawsuits already.
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  #18  
Old 11-18-2012, 10:35 AM
BengalYankee BengalYankee is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Originally Posted by BengaliJack View Post
Blood sucking parasites. Ever look at the phonebook? 35% of the ads are lawyers. These guys make there most of their dough off of your pain....YOUR PAIN!! They try and act considerate..like they actually CARE.....but bring forth a case on someone withOUT deep pockets and you can cancel christmas....they will toss you out like garbage. Yada yada...thats how they get paid....whatever. Sue happy Americans and bloodsucking lawyers.....a winning combination. Lets put a cap on lawsuits already.


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  #19  
Old 11-18-2012, 10:39 PM
Fan_in_Kettering Fan_in_Kettering is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Why do lawyers wear neckties? To hold the foreskin back..............
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  #20  
Old 11-19-2012, 09:32 AM
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Originally Posted by bradfritz21 View Post
Yeah, had one where the lawyer was accusing me of not being as brain damaged as I was making myself look.

If anybody could pull that off, they'd be an Oscar Award winning actor for best actor of ALL-TIME!
That is interesting, because there is a quantifiable measurement of brain activity.
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  #21  
Old 11-19-2012, 03:54 PM
fredtoast fredtoast is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BengaliJack View Post
Blood sucking parasites. Ever look at the phonebook? 35% of the ads are lawyers. These guys make there most of their dough off of your pain....YOUR PAIN!! They try and act considerate..like they actually CARE.....but bring forth a case on someone withOUT deep pockets and you can cancel christmas....they will toss you out like garbage. Yada yada...thats how they get paid....whatever. Sue happy Americans and bloodsucking lawyers.....a winning combination. Lets put a cap on lawsuits already.
Without lawyers forcing them to pay for their negligence and imoral practices big businesses would be cheating, poisoning, killing and maiming citizens at an alarming rate.

Putting caps on lawsuits just allows big businesses to cheat, poison, kill, and main a larger number of people before it becomes cost prohibitive.
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Old 11-19-2012, 04:13 PM
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/memes...awyer-dog-meme
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  #23  
Old 11-19-2012, 04:56 PM
bradfritz21 bradfritz21 is offline
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Originally Posted by Lolli View Post
That is interesting, because there is a quantifiable measurement of brain activity.
I agree, but I'm also missing big parts of my brain (per a brain scan), it's obvious that I can't walk much or talk much, and I still have other problems (memory, decision making, etc.).

Parts of my brain work, but not all parts.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:07 PM
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Default Re: Lawyers....grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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Originally Posted by Bengalzona View Post
Eight hour deposition today. Worse than waterboarding. Who devised this new form of torture?

Please insert any lawyer jokes that you know to aid in my recovery.
um... why?

Did you or someone you know do something bad?
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  #25  
Old 11-19-2012, 06:03 PM
Bengalzona Bengalzona is offline
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um... why?

Did you or someone you know do something bad?
Expert witness
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