Put your pointless RANT Here! and ONLY HERE!

[Carson4mvp]

Originally Posted by RICHMONDBENGAL_07

I was probably stuck behind you today

it's called a fast lane people!!!

Ever tried bump drafting?

[VCU Rams]

Originally Posted by Carson4mvp

It's faster.

not for the ten people waiting in line using the self checkout for what its made for....

ill go in to buy a case of beer, and wait like 20 minutes because of the idiots who go to self checkout with a full cart.

[RazourWeed]

Originally Posted by VCU Rams

not for the ten people waiting in line using the self checkout for what its made for....

ill go in to buy a case of beer, and wait like 20 minutes because of the idiots who go to self checkout with a full cart.

God I hate that so much, I'm with you 100% on this one.

[pookdogg7]

Who is the crack-smoking numbnuts incapable of competent repetition in the maintenance of a vending machine?

I'm not talking about keeping the damn things online (although the snack vendy just around the corner from the cafeteria is suspiciously "out of service" frequently). I'm also not complaining about the slings and arrows of outrageous forune: the bag of chips stuck against the glass, the HoHos clinging, mockingly, to the wire spool which attempted to expel them. These are merely the manifestations of bad karma which we all experience, the dark cloud which only reveals its silver lining when additional coins are inserted to knock free said HoHos with the resounding thunk of a descending MilkyWay bar. Satisfaction, and twice the snacks.

No, my complaint, thunderous, and my indignation, righteous, is aimed at the methadone sampler whose job is simply to restock the machine with snacky bits and change. Let us start with the change, for as everyone knows, change is good.

If it were me, which it is not, I would value every snack in multiples of 25 cents. Acknowledging that candy prices have risen ridiculously since I was a lad, surely chips could be 50 cents, candy bars 75, and the Big Hangover Cures (PopTarts, Pound Cake, Danish) a dollar. This sort of price management would mean Quarters-only change. The US Quarter-Dollar being the only reasonably sized and weighted coin o' th' realm, it makes sense to only stock the change mechanism thusly. But no. This being The Big Fancy City, you will have your premium, won't you? 85-cent candy bars. Now you have to involve dimes and nickels... hell, why not just invite the pennies? Or do you have a problem with coins of color?

Having all this Numismatic Affirmative Action going on just results in a bloated system filled with jams and errors. Many times I have found the vendy on the second floor demanding exact change. Many times I have been so craving a Twix that I have crammed in a dollar bill, here, take it you fiend, keep the extra 15 cents, it's worth it! And been denied. Then there's the fifth floor vendy, which simply lets the dimes fall through, like a hot lesbian sitting alone in a bar. "Nope," says fifth floor vendy, "you can go. My candy is not even for sale."

And that's even assuming the stupid labels are right. I've noticed they're on a little wheel... so that your Depleted Uranium Cranium simply has to turn the price to match the price programmed into the machine. Why then, do the vending machines take on a slot machine air when I buy my Butterfingers? Why is the price 85 cents on one day, and 95 cents on another? Sure, one day it was 45 cents, but that was the day I helped the old lady cross the street AND I think someone else just forgot their change. Probably because they were injured bashing their skull into the glass in frustration.

While I'm discussing labels, why is the burden on me to determine the row and number of my selection? The cafeteria machine, you know, the one that rarely works? Several of the labels are missing... specifically E3, F5, and H0. And why is there a "zero" column, anyway? Are you planning a Vending Expansion that will jeopardize your supply of positive whole numbers? Or are you just showing off your integers, but think negatives would be audacious?

The fifth floor vendy even has some labels misapplied. Yes, I should be able to deduce F3's position between F2 and F4, but it has a E3 sticker on it, but dude I eat out of vending machines... I'm probably hungover and need coffee. Throw me a ****ing bone! There is nothing less savage than spending your last 85 (?) cents on a 3Musketeers, only to be rewarded with Good N Plenty.

Why does bottled water cost more than soda?

Isn't water a component of soda? Doesn't it cost more to process that water, add cancerous qualities and caramel color to it, and bottle it under pressure? Whither the price of sugar? Doth it not be high?

Hey, you vendy stocker that puts the "GED" in "Moron", does it occur to you that the reason the Reese's PB Cups sold out so fast is because people like them??? Did they not teach you that in the late-night infomercial? Replacing them with Nature's Own Laxative Bar will, in fact, mean you have less stock work to do, but it rather defeats the purpose. Show a little initiative! Get on the five-year plan! Cripes!

Finally, O Ye Who Vend, I verily say WTF about the four (four!) "chilled candy machines" on various floors and in various hidey-spots. First of all, those machines use double the energy, 24/7, of the old-school glass-windowed pinball-machine vendors, just to keep it chill, yo. Second of all, there isn't a window, so I can't see for myself what you're out of... I have to wait for you to dis me with "MAKE ANOTHER SELECTION". Third of all, now all of a sudden you want a full dollar for those M&Ms... that's like 3 cents an M! And fourth of all, chilling candy bars makes them taste nasty, asshat. It's probably the nougatty chemicals or the separating cocoa butter or whatever, but it's serious desperation time when I cough up a dollar for crappier crap food. And don't just advise me to eat the chilled Skittles instead. Skittles were never meant to be jawbreakers. I could load those things into my Colt and pop a Skittle in your ***.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Headquarters Building. There is a bar to be met here, and I'm not talking about the one in the management lounge. Let's get it in gear and raise efficacy in unattended snack deployment to acceptable levels. Someone could get hurt.

[Carson4mvp]

Originally Posted by VCU Rams

not for the ten people waiting in line using the self checkout for what its made for....

ill go in to buy a case of beer, and wait like 20 minutes because of the idiots who go to self checkout with a full cart.

Now if i got beer in my hand it's a diffrent story.

[BANJAXED]

Originally Posted by Carson4mvp

Now if i got beer in my hand it's a diffrent story.

i wonder what they would do if you just started drinking there and just tell them you'll pay for the whole case and that you're walking home

i need to try that

[BANJAXED]

I recently ate some soup for lunch from down in the cafe

when I was almost done with the soup, I noticed three short strings of spaghetti at the bottom, we did not have pasta today - but we did yesterday

buncha lazy cooks!

the soup was tastey tho

[XenoMorph]

Originally Posted by dr1441

Well I went to McDonalds this morning and ordered a regular Coke and they gave me a diet Coke. I was so mad!

Diet coke should be ILLEGAL..... that **** is nasty.

[BANJAXED]

Originally Posted by BengalsFan024

Diet coke should be ILLEGAL..... that **** is nasty.

I ordered a Big Mac at Wendy's and they gave me a Whopper!

[Helldog]

Originally Posted by BANJAXED

I ordered a Big Mac and Wendy's and they gave me a Whopper!

You ordered the whole restaurant? Fatty.

[BigPapaKain]

This is true. Also, Tumblr can die. I just want to Google Images it - not go to an entire page that crashes my already crappy laptop.

[RumbleCat]

That just applies, to, whoever.

[Helldog]

Originally Posted by RumbleCat

That just applies, to, whoever.

I always picture one of them guys as you Mikey.

[XenoMorph]

Originally Posted by Whodey23

I always picture one of them guys as you Mikey.

Question is

Is Mikey walking the line

Or Driving real fast.

[SteelCitySouth]

Originally Posted by BANJAXED

If you feel like sounding off without cluttering the board. (wishful thinking I know)

Put it here

So you'll be spending a lot of time in this thread then.....

[BengaliJack]

Went golfing yesterday and on the way we stopped by the .99 cent store to grab a drink to save a few bucks on the course. When we got to the one and only checkout line I could not believe the amount of people in this tiny building. The lady in front of me had her cart slam full of can goods and Knickknacks....and their were about 3 ahead of her....glad the course was wide open as I knew it was going to be here for a few. So as I'm waiting patiently I started looking at the Items I usually run by to get my drink and go. They have a painted Aluminum, 5 LED flashlight with batteries for .99 cent. Not that I'm complaining if I need a flashlight...but where is the profit in this? I looked at it for a few seconds...turned it on...nice rubber switch on the bottom, tight 2 AA battery compartment...Im thinking what the snot? Where is this stuff coming from...I mean the profit margin cant be but a dime in HEAVEN? IS this where China is killing us? Junk like this being imported in by the boatload and pawned off to be sold at the .99 cent store? I paid 20 dollars for the Mini Mags I have in the house and in my truck and this thing probably produces a better, brighter, long lasting light. Well I cashes out with my drink and royally screwed up the round of golf...although I almost drove a par 4....my man feat for the day...but I cant stop thinking about that .99 cent flashlight.....thoughts?

[Nebuchadnezzar]

You know, I am sick and tired of people who complain about complainers complaining about complainers. It gets old after a while.

If someone doesn't like something, they complain about it. Then there are those who complain about those who are complaining about something they don't like. This is because when someone complains about something they don't like, there are those out there who do like it, so they complain about the complainers. This is ok in my book, it's fine.

It's when you get those people who complain about those complaining about the complainers that gets me. These are the people who complain about someone who complains about people who complain about something they like.

Did you follow all that? LOL.

[SteelCitySouth]

Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar

You know, I am sick and tired of people who complain about complainers complaining about complainers. It gets old after a while.

If someone doesn't like something, they complain about it. Then there are those who complain about those who are complaining about something they don't like. This is because when someone complains about something they don't like, there are those out there who do like it, so they complain about the complainers. This is ok in my book, it's fine.

It's when you get those people who complain about those complaining about the complainers that gets me. These are the people who complain about someone who complains about people who complain about something they like.

Did you follow all that? LOL.

Did you just complain about people who complain about people who complain about people who complain?

If so that has to be a record or something.

[RumbleCat]

Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar

You know, I am sick and tired of people who complain about complainers complaining about complainers. It gets old after a while.

If someone doesn't like something, they complain about it. Then there are those who complain about those who are complaining about something they don't like. This is because when someone complains about something they don't like, there are those out there who do like it, so they complain about the complainers. This is ok in my book, it's fine.

It's when you get those people who complain about those complaining about the complainers that gets me. These are the people who complain about someone who complains about people who complain about something they like.

Did you follow all that? LOL.

[Sher Khan]

I am really angry this morning that I'm not really angry about anything. That really p***** me off!

[Interceptor]

Why do they make M&Ms so hard to peel?

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Originally Posted by Interceptor

Why do they make M&Ms so hard to peel?

I know what you mean and they really need a better Quality Control department because I find a lot of W&W's in every bag I get. I wish they cared about their product more.

[The Caped Crusader]

Women are a waste of ****ing time. End rant.

[RumbleCat]

Dey took er jerbs!

[Helldog]

Originally Posted by The Caped Crusader

Women are a waste of ****ing time. End rant.

Is this your coming out of the closet post?