Poop flinging masturbater tazed for naked burglary

[wcu]

When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, that alone could've made news. But their night had just begun.

Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple's North Fort Myers, Fla., home and then defecated and masturbated INSIDE the house.

The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now.

Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, knocking him over by hitting him in the shoulder.

The Lands say Gregory Matthew Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor.

LaDonna then grabbed her gun and began firing at the nude intruder.

She missed, and the couple called 911 ... as the situation got weirder.

After shots were fired, Bruni began masturbating feverishly in their living room before heading into their son's bedroom to rub some clothing on his face.

He also defecated on the floor in two spots within the home ... and ****** up the contents of the vacuum he had just emptied, then spit them back out.

The whole thing has a zombie apocalypse feel to it ... sans flesh-eating.

Authorities arrived, restrained the intruder, took him into custody and transported him to a hospital for evaluation. That should be one serious evaluation.

Bruni has been charged with criminal mischief, battery, occupied burglary and resisting arrest without violence. That's what happens when you ...

Get naked and climb up on someone's roof.
Jump off the roof onto someone and injure them.
Knock down somebody's flat screen TV.
********** in someone's living room.
Defecate on the floor in two places.

While dodging bullets and drinking vacuum cleaner contents no less!

All in a day's work ...

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Originally Posted by wcu

When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker

This is as far as I got in this post. I read the title, chuckled, opened the thread a read to here and thought, "Well, no wonder. The guys a carny and carnies are freaky scarry.

[wcu]

Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar

This is as far as I got in this post. I read the title, chuckled, opened the thread a read to here and thought, "Well, no wonder. The guys a carny and carnies are freaky scarry.

smell like cabbage

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Originally Posted by wcu

smell like cabbage

And they have tiny hands

[Bengalzona]

What's wrong with you guys? This guy should have the right to worship how he chooses!

[SteelCitySouth]

Originally Posted by bengalzona

what's wrong with you guys? This guy should have the right to worship how he chooses!

praise be to kaka!!!!!

[Jabberwocky]

Originally Posted by SteelCitySouth

praise be to kaka!!!!!

[Bengalzona]

Man! What is wrong with this couple?

Some people just can't take a joke!!

I'll bet there are people in Omaha who would pay good money to see a show like that!

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Man! What is wrong with this couple?

Some people just can't take a joke!!

I'll bet there are people in Omaha who would pay good money to see a show like that!

What is good and liked in one state, like Arizona, may not be good and right in another, like Nebraska.

Anyway, Nebraska is cool since it has my name in it. For those who can't figure it out, and I can name a few, NEBraska, NEBuchadnezzar.

[SteelCitySouth]

I'm getting real tired of all these Christians and Atheists descriminating against Kakarians!!!!!

[Carp]

This story sounds a lot like my birthday last year. Zona is right, some people can't take a joke.

[fredtoast]

Originally Posted by wcu

After shots were fired, Bruni began masturbating feverishly in their living room .

See what gun violence leads to.

If we don't get some stronger gun control laws our homes will be filled with naked men masturbating feverishly.

[Bengals_Moderator]

The thing that disturbs me is that in the middle of getting shots fired at him, defecating twice in the home, and eating vacuum remains, he somehow manages to get aroused during this process? I'd hate to see what the guy is like when he takes a Playboy into the bathroom.

[wcu]

Originally Posted by Bengals_Moderator

The thing that disturbs me is that in the middle of getting shots fired at him, defecating twice in the home, and eating vacuum remains, he somehow manages to get aroused during this process? I'd hate to see what the guy is like when he takes a Playboy into the bathroom.

Haha....the same thought came to mind for me.

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar

What is good and liked in one state, like Arizona, may not be good and right in another, like Nebraska.

Anyway, Nebraska is cool since it has my name in it. For those who can't figure it out, and I can name a few, NEBraska, NEBuchadnezzar.

NEBulizer?



BTW- Wouldn't have got that far in AZ. We are generally better shots out here.

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by Bengals_Moderator

The thing that disturbs me is that in the middle of getting shots fired at him, defecating twice in the home, and eating vacuum remains, he somehow manages to get aroused during this process? I'd hate to see what the guy is like when he takes a Playboy into the bathroom.

Let this be a lesson to everyone about the dangers of becoming "backed up".... either way!

[Jabberwocky]

Originally Posted by Bengals_Moderator

The thing that disturbs me is that in the middle of getting shots fired at him, defecating twice in the home, and eating vacuum remains, he somehow manages to get aroused during this process? I'd hate to see what the guy is like when he takes a Playboy into the bathroom.

How does one get aroused reading Playboy articles?

[BengalYankee]

[THEBURG]

Was it Randy Travis?

[wcu]

Originally Posted by THEBURG

Was it Randy Travis?

[Shady]

Something tells me Neek parties with this guy.

[SunsetBengal]

Can't wait to see the toxicology report on this joker..

[crispy]

Originally Posted by Shady

Something tells me Neek parties with this guy.

Naw, this is one of Neek's alts......

[Bengalzona]

I wonder what the wife was shooting at that she missed at such close range?

[Ben zoo 2]

Originally Posted by Shady

Something tells me Neek parties with this guy.

Nah, something tells me rumblecat skipped his meds and went out for a night on the town.