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Klotsch Exchange recipes, talk about movies, comment on Jessica Simpson or anything you want. Just do it here instead of ruining someone else's football-related topic.

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  #1  
Old 02-10-2013, 09:12 AM
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wildcats forever wildcats forever is offline
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Default Bad Jokes - post 'em here

Please keep it clean though - this is a family site you know And here's mine:

A woman in her eighties made the evening news because she was getting married for the fourth time. The following day she was being interviewed by a local TV station, and the commentator asked about what it felt to be married again at that age and would she share part of her previous experiences, since it seem quite unique the fact that her new husband was a ‘funeral director.’ After a short time to think, a smile came to her face and she proudly explained that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, in her forties she married a circus ring master, and in her sixties she married a pastor and now in her eighties, a funeral director. The amazed commentator asked her why she had married men with such diverse careers. With a smile on her face she explained, ‘I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.’
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  #2  
Old 02-10-2013, 11:32 AM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

If everyone in America started driving pink cadillacs, what would you have?
A pink car nation.
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  #3  
Old 02-10-2013, 12:11 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

What's a pig's favorite fighting move?

The Pork Chop.
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  #4  
Old 02-10-2013, 02:25 PM
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bengals Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?




Elephino
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  #5  
Old 02-10-2013, 05:13 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

A man walked into a bar.
He said "Ouch!"
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  #6  
Old 02-10-2013, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

A second man walked into a bar.
You think he would have seen the first guy do it!
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  #7  
Old 02-10-2013, 05:55 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

A horse walks in a bar. Bartender says: "Why the long face?"
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  #8  
Old 02-10-2013, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

A baby seal walks into a club.

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  #9  
Old 02-10-2013, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

Wanna hear a dirty joke?
































Johnny fell in a mud puddle.
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  #10  
Old 02-10-2013, 06:40 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

What is orange and in the kitchen?

Hey, I can paint my woman as I like it!
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  #11  
Old 02-10-2013, 06:58 PM
Nebuchadnezzar Nebuchadnezzar is offline
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

What sound does a sheep make when it blows up?

Sis Boom Baaaaaaaaaaaa!
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  #12  
Old 02-10-2013, 08:23 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

why did the little boy run circles around his box of oatmeal?


Because the directions said 'to open, tear around".
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  #13  
Old 02-10-2013, 09:01 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

Pete and RePete walked into a bar. Pete walked out. Who was left?
RePete!
Pete and RePete walked into a bar. Pete walked out. Who was left?
Repete!
Pete and RePete...
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  #14  
Old 02-10-2013, 09:41 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
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  #15  
Old 02-10-2013, 09:42 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

Here's one courtesy of my three-year-old:

"Why do cows moo? Because their horns don't work!"
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  #16  
Old 02-10-2013, 10:32 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

Man, these jokes are terrible.

Keep up the good work...
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  #17  
Old 02-10-2013, 11:07 PM
Nebuchadnezzar Nebuchadnezzar is offline
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

What did one shoe say to the other shoe? "Hello Shoe"

A guy with Laprosy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He downs the beer and he notices some people at the end of the bar gagging.
He tells the bartender, "I have to leave, people are sick at my appearence".
The bartender say, "It's not you, here have another beer on the house".
The guy with Leprosy downs that beer and notices another group of people actually getting sick.
He tells the bartender, "Seriously, I must leave. I apologize for any inconvenience".
The bartender say, "Believe me, it's not you. Have another beer on the house".
"If it's not me and the fact that I have Leprosy, then why are these people getting sick?" says the guy with Leprosy.
The bartender says, "It's not you, it's not. Sit down and relax".
The Leper says, "Tell me, what is it then?"
The bartender says, "It's the guy behind you. He's using your back as chip dip".
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  #18  
Old 02-10-2013, 11:17 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

why was the blonde looking at the tree? because it was a see dar tree
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  #19  
Old 02-11-2013, 12:06 AM
Nebuchadnezzar Nebuchadnezzar is offline
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

A blonde is taking a walk and she comes to the bank of a river. On the other side of the river is another blonde. The first blonde yells over to the other blonde, "How do I get to the other side of the river?" The second blonde yells back, "You are on the other side".

Both blondes turn and walk away.
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  #20  
Old 02-11-2013, 12:24 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

What did the broken window say to the other window?

"I'm in PANE!!".
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  #21  
Old 02-11-2013, 12:34 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

there was a dude from Kentucky that tired to blow up a school bus...

But he burnt his lips on the tailpipe.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:43 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

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  #23  
Old 02-11-2013, 12:44 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man that shot my pa(w)".
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  #24  
Old 02-11-2013, 12:49 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

How do you fit 4 blondes on a bar stool?



Errrr wait that might not be clean enough
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:55 PM
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Default Re: Bad Jokes - post 'em here

Santa's favorite song is "When I think about you, I touch my elf"
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