Arizona: Zombie Friendly

[Bengalzona]

There's been a lot more interest in zombies in recent years. New books, movies, TV shows, Kristen Stewart, etc. Zombies seem to be everywhere in the media. But there are a few things about zombies that the media is not getting right. For example, it is commonly thought that zombies want to eat human brains or flesh. This is not true. Zombies like coupons and sales. Warning: you may find the real truth about zombies to be far scarier than what the media portrays.

You see, we have zombies out here in Arizona. You might say that we are a zombie-friendly state, much like Florida. Every year, we have a mass migration of tens of thousands of zombies who flock here for unknown reasons. Perhaps it is some distant memory of their past. Or perhaps it is the sun. Or maybe it is the sales. For whatever reasons, they come here in droves. Gnarled and twisted rotting frames wandering aimlessly with little to no mental activity. It's a bit like going to a football game in Cleveland.

Now, these zombies generally appear harmless. But they can be quite deadly when they are in large groups, such as at a Tea Party rally or at the early bird special at the Golden Corral. They can be worked up into a blood-thirsty frenzy by coupons and sales as they rampantly search for "The Deal". Apparently, this deal holds certain respect within the zombie community. A sale on Prius cars at the local Toyota dealership sent several people to the hospital. When the zombies assemble into a mob, you can hear their guttural moans and groans: "Huh???"... "What???"... "Speak up!!!".

Contrary to popular belief, zombies arise at the crack of dawn and return to their crypts at sundown. Also, zombies here have been known to simulate driving cars. This usually involves sitting in the drivers seat and slowly turning the wheel back and forth in a parked car. But, occasionally, a zombie will accidentally start the ignition of the car and put the car in motion. This motion usually doesn't last long as the zombies seem to get confused over which pedal is the gas and which is the brake. Also, zombies tend to look solely at the rearview mirror instead of looking forward when they "drive". If there is a car passing them from behind, they slam the gas pedal and swerve in front of the car, only to slam the brakes as soon as they are in front. This behavior, as well as bumper stickers saying "We are spending are childrens' inheritance", "Vote no on the new school levy", etc., are clear indicators that a zombie has hit the roadways. Beware!

[BANJAXED]

It looked like you took some time to type a lot. I didnt read it but I felt bad that no one commented. So that is what I am doing.

Have a good day!

[Bengalzona]

Originally Posted by BANJAXED

It looked like you took some time to type a lot. I didnt read it but I felt bad that no one commented. So that is what I am doing.

Have a good day!

Actually, I was just venting my frustration for having to wait in traffic behind rows and rows of these blue-hairs. So, it really didn't bother me that no one responded. But thanks for your pity anyway.

BTW- When are you gonna tell the board the news?

[BANJAXED]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Actually, I was just venting my frustration for having to wait in traffic behind rows and rows of these blue-hairs. So, it really didn't bother me that no one responded. But thanks for your pity anyway.

BTW- When are you gonna tell the board the news?

my news in on a need to know basis

[XenoMorph]

Originally Posted by Bengalzona

Actually, I was just venting my frustration for having to wait in traffic behind rows and rows of these blue-hairs. So, it really didn't bother me that no one responded. But thanks for your pity anyway.

BTW- When are you gonna tell the board the news?

You probly hit what the zombie movies are about better than anything....

But it extends way past the elderly......

to anyone who cant think for themselves.




Episode is : "Grey Dawn"

[Sher Khan]

It just really warms my heart to see everyone strike up a Zombie conversation. It's not something you see everyday. I mean, on the metro or at a holiday party, It's just not too often that folks really get down with the Zombie issue. This is really uplifting.

[Fan_in_Kettering]

Remember that zombies were people too....

[wildcats forever]

Originally Posted by Sher Khan

It just really warms my heart to see everyone strike up a Zombie conversation. It's not something you see everyday. I mean, on the metro or at a holiday party, It's just not too often that folks really get down with the Zombie issue. This is really uplifting.

Why, jest the other day a feller ambled up to me yelling in his best Georgian-southern drawl "How bout dem zombies???"

It was scarey I tell ya......damned scarey.