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Klotsch Exchange recipes, talk about movies, comment on Jessica Simpson or anything you want. Just do it here instead of ruining someone else's football-related topic.

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  #1  
Old 02-06-2013, 03:47 PM
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Default How to beat a speeding ticket
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the liar told you I was speeding too.
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  #2  
Old 02-06-2013, 03:53 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
I had a buddy who tried something like this. The only problem was that the mic on the dash cam picked it up so he got hit with a speeding ticket and obstruction charge.
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  #3  
Old 02-06-2013, 04:33 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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Originally Posted by Bengal Dude View Post
I had a buddy who tried something like this. The only problem was that the mic on the dash cam picked it up so he got hit with a speeding ticket and obstruction charge.

Too bad your buddy wasn't born with nice "T&A", and one of them things that women have...
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Old 02-06-2013, 05:09 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
At first i was like ....

Beeeewwwwbs????


Then I was like...
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  #5  
Old 02-06-2013, 05:13 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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At first i was like ....Beeeewwwwbs????


Then I was like...*sad face*
aw c'mon man! Every speeding ticket joke can't just be about boobs
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  #6  
Old 02-06-2013, 05:22 PM
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aw c'mon man! Every speeding ticket joke can't just be about boobs
Been a long day, lol.
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Old 02-06-2013, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by wildcats forever View Post
aw c'mon man! Every speeding ticket joke can't just be about boobs

So, where are the pictures of this attractive, and obviously quite witty young lady??
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Old 02-06-2013, 05:35 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
The way I beat a speeding ticket is to not speed.

Pretty simple really.
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Old 02-06-2013, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar View Post
The way I beat a speeding ticket is to not speed.

Pretty simple really.
I can't drive....55.
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:28 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar View Post
The way I beat a speeding ticket is to not speed.

Pretty simple really.
You should do stand up. That was hilarious.
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  #11  
Old 02-06-2013, 07:37 PM
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You should do stand up. That was hilarious.
They say I'm the funniest guy in the office and that I should do stand up. Then I got fired.

It really is that simple really, it is as simple as that since its so simple.
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  #12  
Old 02-06-2013, 07:41 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar View Post
They say I'm the funniest guy in the office and that I should do stand up. Then I got fired.

It really is that simple really, it is as simple as that since its so simple.
Too much simple to actually be simple, simply put...
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  #13  
Old 02-06-2013, 11:06 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar View Post
The way I beat a speeding ticket is to not speed.

Pretty simple really.
You have confused "avoid" with "beat".
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  #14  
Old 02-06-2013, 11:58 PM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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You have confused "avoid" with "beat".
I should have put, "To beat a speeding ticket one must not be caught speeding."

Now it's simple, lol.
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  #15  
Old 02-07-2013, 07:11 AM
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Default Re: How to beat a speeding ticket
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Originally Posted by Nebuchadnezzar View Post
I should have put, "To beat a speeding ticket one must not be caught speeding."

Now it's simple, lol.
This whole thing is getting very complicated
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  #16  
Old 02-07-2013, 08:12 AM
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  #17  
Old 02-07-2013, 09:31 AM
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